Working On A Thriller

I haven't posted in awhile, because I've been enthralled in writing my books. I'm ready to start a thriller, and if you're interested in reading it, please come check out any of my pages, and leave me a message! I'm ready to share my books with voracious readers. Thank you for your support!
Come check out my facebook page @JessicaRenta1985
Also, I'm still in need of sponsorship on patreon. If you would be so kind, please visit my page at http://patreon.com/Jessicameowsica

Thanks again, 
Jessica

Looking For Goodness

As you age, you have a vast cauldron of experiences to draw from. Some of these experiences are great; some you wish you never had. But all of them shape the work that you do and the person you become. It's just inevitable. 

~ Juliet Aubrey 

Don't let life's past experiences hold you captive. Draw from these experiences, use them, and learn from them; for a better and brighter future.

Be yourself, always. Don't waste a moment of your life trying to be normal, because there is no such thing.

Be happy with what you have. There are people with nothing that still manage to smile.

This is my artwork, and my message to you is: Hold on to the ones you love with everything you've got, because you never know the last time you will get to tell them you love them.

I've found that in my savior, the Lord Jesus Christ

Thank you!

Are You Broken, Or Are You Stronger Than Ever?

God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth the perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.

~ Vance Havner

Those of us who may think we are broken, if we let God work within us, he will give us strength. God will make us stronger than we have ever been before. Worry is the greatest thief of our joy. Remember, your past doesn't define you. Each struggle is a stepping block to reach your true potential!

Is Okay Ok?

Look around you, and look inside you. How many people do you think are settling? I will tell you; it's a hell of a lot of people. They're settling everyday in okay relationships, and okay jobs, and an okay life. 

Do you know why?

Because okay is comfortable.

Okay pays the bills.

Okay gives a warm bed at night, and allows one to go out with co-workers on a Friday evening to enjoy happy hour.

Do you know what is not okay?

Okay isn't thrilling.

Okay isn't passion.

Okay isn't the reason for getting out of bed every morning.

Okay isn't life changing or unforgettable.

Okay is not a reason to go to bed late, and wake up early.

Okay is not the reason you risk absolutely everything you have, just for the smallest chance that something incredibly amazing could happen.

Okay is not ok 

Take The Taboo Off Mental Illnesses

We need to free mental illness from all the negativity. Specifically, Bipolar Disorder. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in August of 2014, and it has been a hell of an uphill struggle. People began to look at me differently, with judgement written all over their faces. Whenever I needed someone to talk to about it, they brushed me off. They are still in denial, to this day. I want to be free of the stigma. I'm not insane, and neither are the other people who have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. 

The issue with bipolar disorder isn't that we have feelings, it's that our feeling are too big. Emotions and feelings are normal, even big emotions at certain times are normal, but people with bipolar have feelings that are too big; far too much of the time. Bipolar is a mood disorder. Feelings, in any situation, are on a spectrum, and people with bipolar, are on the far end of the spectrum the majority of the time; causing the mood swings. It's feels like your parent dies everyday. The problem isn't them emotion, it isn't the feeling itself, it's that the feeling is TOO BIG for the situation. No matter the situation, the feeling is pretty much always too big, every day, all day. 

I support people who have mental illnesses of all kinds, and I know that if we all stick together, we can overcome the stigma that surrounds it! I always help out whenever I see someone in need, and if anybody needs someone to talk to, I'll be there for you. Let's Free Mental Illness from it's tainted mark of the old days!

Last Chapter of Depraved Appetites

These are the pictures I have included for my book

 Cover

 Holly

Tristan & Roxie's Beautiful Home

Izzy, The Seductress  

Roxie, Main Character 

Scarlet, Roxie's Main squeeze

Spilling Blood Along The Way

Izzy and I are awakened by Tristan yelling at the top of his lungs; like nothing I’ve ever heard before. I have been married to this guy for fifteen years, and never heard such a commotion, until the day he caught me in bed with his mistress. Funny how things work out.

“What the hell are you doing, Roxie?” Tristan asked.

“Um I, I’m sorry. Please don’t hurt me.” I said.

“You’re trying to steal my woman, aren’t you? You bitch!” He accused.

“No, I swear. Scarlet is my woman.”

“So, you’re a lesbian now?” He laughed.

“Sweet heart, calm down now. It was just a little fun. Come on now, and let mama make it up to you, ok precious?” Izzy asked.

“Alright then. What did you have in mind.” Tristan asked.

“I want to give you a menage a trois. Are you down Roxie?”

“Yeah, no problem.” I said.

Anything to get out of this situation. Yikes! I never thought I would be caught up in the arms of my husband’s lover, with no place to go. I really need to keep the peace right now. Izzy is great at keeping him calm. It seems strange though, especially after that sob story she told Scarlet and I.

“Good, let’s make special arrangements for tomorrow night. You ladies bring yourselves, and I’ll bring everything else. I’m going to leave you to it. See you later.” Tristan said as he winked at me and strutted out the door.

That gave me a bad feeling, but this threesome gives me the perfect opportunity to prove to Scarlet, that I would do anything for her. I hear a car revving up, and look out the window just in time to see Tristan leaving. Huh, I wonder where he’s going this time of night.

“Izzy, would it be ok if I stayed the night?” I asked.

“Why it would be my pleasure darling.” Izzy answered.

We got up for a little while, and made some dinner, and watched a bit of television before going back to bed. After the day we had yesterday, we were both physically and emotionally spent. Before we drift off to sleep, Izzy says there’s something she has to tell me.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m in love with you, and everything about you. Ever since the moment I saw you, I knew I had to have you. I need to know, will you be mine?” Izzy asked.

I knew it. She did break up my relationship. I bet she was lying about all the prison stuff too. She’s manipulating Tristan, and that’s why he didn’t hurt me. Wait, no, they’re both manipulating me. I can’t believe how foolish I am. Tristan would never let me stay here; not unless he is concocting something that will hurt me. Damnit!

“Izzy, I’m sorry but I already gave my heart to Scarlet.” I confessed.

“What about the sex?” She asked.

“It was just sex. Just a little fun. Like you said, something to take our minds off the situation at hand, for a little while.”

“I love you though. She doesn’t even love you back. What am I supposed to do?” She asked.

“Wow, that’s hurtful. You’re supposed to enjoy it while it lasts. That’s what you’re supposed to do. We’re going to have a threesome tomorrow night, and then it’s over. I’m sorry.” I said.

“Let’s just go to sleep.” She began to cry.

I can tell I upset her badly, and I wasn’t even trying to. Maybe I was wrong about her trying to manipulate me? Is it possible Izzy truly cares for me? I don’t know at this point, but I have more important things to worry about right now. I have got to find a way to get Scarlet back, and get out of all this drama. The next morning, I go out and run some errands, and run into Scarlet.

“You slut! How could you?” Scarlet yells for the whole store to hear.

“What?”

“You slept with Izzy. I knew you wanted her.”

“Listen, I love you. She means nothing to me, I swear!” I hollered as she walked away.

That’s it. I’m going to show her. It was him; I knew it. I have no other choice. This has to be done now. That night, I get together with Izzy and Tristan as planned, and we start the evening in our bar, at my old house.

“Tonight, everyone will do as I say. I am the master, and will be referred to as such.” Tristan said.

“Yes master.” Izzy said seductively.

Tristan nods his head at me, waiting for my response.

“Oh, yes master.” I force out.

“Good. Now everyone will be having a drink.” He said.

“Please master, can I help?” I asked.

“Well, only because you asked so nicely. Get on back here girl.”

Amongst the confusion of making beverages for all of us, I manage to slip roofies into both of their drinks. Within minutes of them downing their drinks, both of them are passed out on the floor next to each other. In Tristan’s office I open his safe, put socks on my hands, and pull out his loaded gun. I head back to the bar, and position myself right up behind Izzy. I place the gun in her hand, and put my hand on top of her hand, then use a pillow as a makeshift silencer. I pull the trigger, and a bullet hits Tristan right in the chest; near his heart. Finally, that son of a bitch can’t hurt me anymore. Then I place Izzy’s finger right on the trigger, right where my covered hand had just been. My ears were still ringing as I pulled into Scarlet’s driveway. I knocked on her door, and I could hear her grumbling through the door.

“Who the hell is knocking at this hour?”

Scarlet opens the door, and peeps out. When she sees me, she flings the door wide open.

“You’re covered in blood, what happened to you?” Scarlet asked.

Breathlessly, I told her, “I did it. I did it for you!”

She drags me into her house.

“People can’t be seeing you like this. You look like a crazy person, wandering around in the middle of the night, looking like you killed somebody.” She said.

“I did though. I did it to prove to you that you’re the only one I want.”

“What? You actually pulled off our plan? By yourself?” She asked.

“Yes. I need you.”

She broke down. All of her stubbornness melted away in my arms. She loves me, and I her.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so jealous. I need you too.”

Scarlet starts up her fireplace, takes my teddy from me, and burns the evidence.

“We have to burn the letters too.” I said.

“You’re right. Go grab them.”

The letters light up in the blaze, and crumble to ashes in seconds.

We take a shower to clean off the rest of the evidence, and afterwards my adrenaline calms down. I realize how exhausting the day was, so I climb into bed, and fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.

After work the following day, Scarlet and I are channel surfing on the couch, when there’s a knock at the door.

“Detective James Spencer is the name, ma’am. I’m going to need to speak to you privately.”

My heart sinks. I already know what he’s going to tell me, but is he going to take me away?

“I’m sorry to have to tell you, your husband has been murdered.”

I stared at him for a moment in disbelief, even though I knew it was true. Tears ran down my cheeks. There was something about hearing the words that made my stomach churn.

“What happened?” I managed to get out.

“We’re still investigating at this time. Can you tell me where you were last night?”

“I was here all night.” I told the detective.

“Is there anything, or anyone you can think of who would want to do this?” He asked.

“Have you seen my daughter, Holly. She lives there, and she’s only fourteen.”

“I’m sorry, but there wasn’t anyone else at the scene. I’ll put out an APB for her, and you can file a missing person's report.”

“I will go do that right away. Thanks so much.” I said.

“Thank you. Here’s my card, and if you think of anything, please give me a call. We’ll be in touch.”

The detective calls me a few days later with an update.

“Ma’am, I called to let you know we found out who murdered your estranged husband, and we have this person in custody.”

“Thank you very much. Also, I filed a missing person's report on my daughter, Holly. Can you tell me if there has been any updates?” I asked.

“Of course. Let me get the report and either I, or one of my men will give you a call by the end of the day.”

“Thank you. I’m desperate to find her.”

Even after what she put me through, she’s still my daughter and I love her. The best part is that, the person who was the bad influence on her, is now dead. When we find her, I can get her back on track. We can fix her grades, attitude, and set her up for success.

Tristan’s funeral is being held at the church where we got married back in 1985. It’s been so long since I’ve been here. Scarlet and I show up together, and almost immediately run into Tristan’s parents.

“I see you’re a dyke now.” His father said.

“I see you’re an asshole now.” I said and walked away.

The rest of the funeral was tense, and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. It’s one of those events that you have to attend though. Thank goodness for the booze afterwards. Suddenly, I felt like shooting everyone who pissed me off, like a switch was turned on that night.

Over the next couple of years, I waited for Holly’s return, and every day that passed, I lost a little more hope of her ever coming back. My only wish for her, is that she is happy.

I followed Izzy’s case online, but I didn’t dare go see her. I know that if I ever saw her again, it could get me involved in the murder, and that’s the last thing I want.

Izzy’s day in court finally came, and the jury found her guilty of felony murder. She is sentenced to life, with the eligibility of parole after a minimum of twenty-five years. Scarlet and I rejoiced and celebrated my freedom. I am finally happy with the love of my life. There’s no abuse or drama anymore.

I hear a car pull up, so I look out the window, and there’s a man dressed in a suit and tie. He looks just like the other detective that visited before. My tummy cramps up, and my heart's pounding. He’s approaching the door, I better act fast. This could be it.

“Scarlet, let me hold you.”

I wrap my arms around her, and give her a kiss.

“What’s happening?” She asked.

“I’m not sure yet.”

There’s a knock at the door.

“Detective?” I asked.

He shows me his badge, “Yes, I’ve come to give you an update on your daughter.”

“Is she ok? Where is she?” I asked in desperation.

“I apologize, but she was found in a shallow grave. It appears she was sold into sex trafficking.”

“No, this can’t be true.” I said in shock.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” He gave me his card and left before I realized it.

I’m at a loss for words. My world has stopped.

The day of the funeral, I put on my best black dress. This is about Holly, not petty squabbles. Everyone showed up. The entire family, all of her friends, and even our neighbors who watched her grow up. I bawled all day, under my veil. Truly saddened by the loss of my daughter, I felt it was my karma for murdering Tristan.

I truly hope you have enjoyed my book! It's the first manuscript I've written, and I'm currently working on my second book. Thank you, to everyone who gave their support!

Depraved Appetites Chapter 4

Scarlet

The True Cost of Rape

“No, this can’t be happening!” I shouted at a cheap pregnancy test I picked up on the way home.

“What is going on in there?” Scarlet knocks with the knuckle of her index finger.

I walk out of the bathroom, holding the positive test, with my head hung down in shame.

“Hey, it’s going to be ok. We’ll take care of it.” Scarlet said.

“I don’t want this baby.”

“That’s fine too. I promise to support you in any decision you make.”

“What if I told you, I wanted an abortion?” I asked.

“I would go down there with you and support you all the way. Is that what you want?”

I paused for a moment to mull it over in my mind, even though I already knew the answer. Maybe the test is wrong. It was only a dollar.

“I guess I could go to the supermarket, and get a real test to be sure.” I said.

“Let’s do that. Those cheap things give people false positives all the time.”

“Really? No way.”

“Yes, way. Come on, let’s get you a real test.” She said.

Scarlet drives me to our local store, and we go inside to buy the best test available; with the digital read out. After we check out, she drags me into the bathroom, right there in the store. In the handicap stall, to our dismay, even the best test is positive.

“Do you still want the abortion?” Scarlet asked.

A woman in another stall gasped; horrified at the question.

“Mind your own business lady, we’re having a moment here. Jeez, people.” She said.

“Yes. All I can think about, is the tragic event that caused this. I can’t deal with it.”

“To be honest, I’m happy you’re going to go through with it. I’ll even pay for half of it because I love you so much.”

“Thank you. I wasn’t sure I could even afford the whole $400, but I can definitely cover half of that. Also, would it be alright, if this stayed between you and me?” I asked.

“Of course sweetheart. I swear I won’t tell a soul.” She said.

This abortion is something that we both want done as quickly and seamlessly as possible. Once we get past the pro-life activists, and inside, there sits a familiar face. I feel just as ashamed as she looks.

“Izzy, are you ok?” I asked.

“No, I found out I was pregnant this morning and I was so excited because I always wanted a baby of my own. I went and told Tristan, and he backs me into a corner, slaps me around, and then throws money at me, telling me to get rid of it! Then, he storms out of the house, and I never sobbed so hard in all my life.” Izzy cried.

“I’m here for you. If you want to talk, or you just need some company.” I said.

“Thank you. Why are you here?” She sniffled.

“Tristan, um, raped me.” I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer.

I saw Scarlet roll her eyes, but she didn’t understand the pain Tristan had put us through, and I’m not sure she ever would. It created a distance between us whenever Izzy was around, but why does she have to act so childish? I’m just trying to be a good friend and support someone who has nobody to lean on. Izzy and I cry together, holding each other's hands, and I say a silent prayer for both our babies we are unable to keep. Izzy is called back first.

“Why did you roll your eyes?” I asked Scarlet.

“Why do you always have to be all over Izzy?”

“I’m not trying to be. I’m just trying to be a good friend.”

“Oh, so the slut who stole your husband is now your friend?”

“Whoa, that’s harsh. I thought you came to support me. This doesn’t feel very supportive. Izzy isn’t a slut. You heard her yourself. She was forced to do things she didn’t want to do, and now she has to have an abortion because of the same man who forced those things upon her. Just like me. Right here, right now.” I said.

“Sounds like you’re defending your new girlfriend.” Scarlet said.

“I shouldn’t have to deal with your jealousy and insecurities right now!”

“You know what? You don’t. We are done. When you feel better, come pick up your shit.”

Immediately, I break down. What am I going to do without her? She was my whole world. She still is. Where am I going to live? Izzy walks through the door, weeping, and she comes right to me.

“Are you going to be ok?” I asked.

“I’m going to try my best. Where’s Scarlet?” Izzy asked.

“It’s complicated. We got into it, and she broke up with me. She just left me here and told me to come get my stuff. I can’t believe it’s over.”

“Well sugar, I would be happy to take you to get your things, and bring you back to my place. I can promise you I am done letting that fool treat us the way he does.”

“Yes. Thank you.” I said.

My name is called next, and I know Izzy will be waiting for me when I’m done. It’s horrible how you have to wait for hours, see a therapist, do tons of paperwork, pee in a cup. Then, in a matter of minutes, the doctor literally sucks the life out of you. All you feel is this emptiness, and you know you’ll never be able to fill that void.

Riding in Izzy’s truck over to Scarlet’s place, I can’t help but cry like a baby all the way there. I thank her for the ride, and let her know I’ll meet up with her later. I know I have a lot of packing to do, and hopefully Scarlet will talk to me. Heartbroken over my losses, I walk up to the front door and contemplate using my key. Scarlet opens the door, and she has this coldness I’ve never felt from her before. I didn’t know she could be so hateful.

“I see you got your little girlfriend to bring you home.” Scarlet said sarcastically.

“What did you want me to do? Walk? I’m in a lot of pain.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

“Here is your key. I’m sorry. I’ll get my stuff as fast as I can and get out of your hair.”

She didn’t say another word to me while I was there. I could see it in her eyes that she felt bad. I think she was just too stubborn to say anything at that moment. I did all I could for the day, and I let her know I would be back to get the rest when I felt a little better. She said it was ok.

I drive out to my secret secluded spot and park. The sun is setting and the sky is streaked with clouds. Such a beautiful sky, for such a sad day. When I reach in my bag for a blanket, I pull out a shirt. Weird, how did this get in there? Oh it’s Scarlet’s shirt. I press it against me, and it smells just like her. All I can think is, I want my Scarlet back. I cuddle with her shirt and cry myself to sleep.

The morning sunlight rays beam right into my eyes, waking me up. At least I won’t be late for work. Work. Ugh. I’m going to have to see Scarlet. All day, silently, I muddle through shampoos and hair cuts. The best part, was catching up on all the new gossip around town. After punching my time card, there’s someone else who has been on my mind all day, and I need to go see how she is doing. When I get to her room, the door is closed. That’s not like Izzy at all.

I press my ear against the door. Nothing. So, I knock lightly, so as not to disturb her in case she is just sleeping.

“Come in.” Izzy groans.

I open the door, and it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Izzy sits up and turns on the lamp on her bedside table.

“Sorry. Is that better?” Izzy asked.

“Yeah. I came to see if you’re alright.”

“Sugar, you are so sweet. To tell you the truth, no I’m not. How are you?”

“I’m not doing so well myself either.”

“This is the worst thing I’ve ever done. I feel so guilty, hun. I wish I could just forget about all of it, even if it were just for a little while.” Izzy said.

I lean in to hug her, and she presses her lips against mine. At first, I’m startled and I tense up. Then Scarlet enters my mind, and I feel so guilty, but Izzy feels so good; rubbing her velvety hands near my bikini line. Wait, I don’t have to feel guilt, we’re not together anymore. I begin to loosen up, and slip my tongue between her supple lips. Our tongues brushed together. She is softer than I fantasized, slowly undressing me, I nibble her ears. She shudders, and I feel the goosebumps rise all over her body. I’m rubbing her hips and squeezing her thighs, as I suck on her neck, moving down to her sweet nipples. She tastes so delicious, rolling around her nipple with my lips and tongue. She caresses the length of my naked voluptuous body with all my curves.

“You’re so beautiful. I’ve wanted this for some time now.” She said.

“I want you right now. You’re so sexy. I can’t wait any longer.”

I can’t stand it, she’s teasing me. I put my two fingers inside of my soaking wet pussy, just to relieve the pressure. Moaning; waiting for her to touch me, I thrust my fingers in and out a few times, and then I pull them from me and scrape my teeth on my index finger breathlessly; sucking the juices off as my finger wrap around my tongue.

Izzy goes to the end of the bed and spreads my legs open, kissing my inner thighs all the way to my wet pussy. I’m waiting in anticipation for her touch. She slides two fingers up inside of me and twirls her tongue around my hard clit.

“Yes! Right there, baby. I’m about to cum”

My pussy is getting soaked as she quickly thrusts her fingers in and out of me. She’s licking and sucking on my pussy until I cum. Still so turned on, and ready to please her any way I can.

I get up and lay her down gently on her back, as if she’s breakable, and spread her pussy lips. That sexy pussy is glistening just for me. She hands me her vibrator.

“I like it in my ass while you go down on me.” Izzy smiles.

“You’re a bad girl, you need a spanking.”

I slap her right on that tight ass, mmm.

I get the vibrator lubed up, and I start working it into her ass until she’s comfortable, as I stick my tongue between those sweet pussy lips. She moans. I feel so powerful, sticking my fingers in and out of her, and licking up all of her juices. I begin darting my two fingers in her pussy with a come hither motion and I can feel she is getting close. I flick her clit with my tongue and then go under her clit and lick and swirl until she yells out.

“Oh my darling, you’re amazing.” Izzy said.

“So, are you. I think we were able to occupy our minds for a little while.” I laugh.

“Why I guess you’re right.”

Suddenly, Izzy has a sad look, like she’s about to cry. I know this is a lot harder on her than it was me. I feel really bad for her, but we all have our own cross to bear.

“How about I just lay with you for a while and keep you company?” I asked.

“Really? That would be most gracious of you, sweetheart.”

While we’re laying there, all I can think about is Scarlet. She is the one who truly has my heart. It occurs to me, that Izzy said she had wanted to have sex with me for a long time. Izzy did kind of play the catalyst in breaking up my relationship by flirting with me right in front of my girlfriend. Have I fallen right into a trap? I need to do something to prove my undying love for that woman. Scarlet needs to know I can’t live without her. I can’t hold my eyes open, maybe just a little nap first.

There is only one chapter left! If anyone is reading this, it would be great to get some feedback. Thank you!